In the new documentary Hillary about Hillary Clinton premiering tomorrow on Hulu, Bill Clinton has revealed some of the reasons behind his pursuit of sexual relationship with West Wing intern Monica Lewinsky, per the Daily Mail.
In large part, he engaged with Lewinsky as a means to “manage his anxieties.” In considering the encounter, he thought to himself “here’s something that will take your mind off it for a while.”
After the revelation of the affair, there were many public questions about what would happen to the First Family. Bill and Hillary discuss how that went down.
“I went and sat on the bed and talked to her,” Bill said about approaching Hillary with the truth about the affair. “I told her exactly what happened, when it happened. I said ‘I feel terrible about it.’”
For her part, Hillary “was just devastated.” She said “I could not believe it. I was so personally just hurt and I can’t believe this, I can’t believe you lied.”
On who would tell Chelsea, since she would be bound to hear about it in the press, the obvious choice was Bill. “She said ‘you have to tell your daughter,’” Bill said about Hillary’s determination. “She said ‘that’s worse than me.’ So I did that, which was awful.”
He noted that being the President of the United States made him feel well beaten up. “You feel like you’re staggering around,” he said, “you’ve been in a 15 round prize fight that was extended to 30 rounds and here’s something that will take your mind off it for a while, that’s what happens.”
He went on to say that “Everybody’s life has pressures and disappointments, terrors, fears of whatever. Things I did to manage my anxieties for years. I’m a different, totally different person than I was, a lot of that stuff 20 years ago.”
The political power couple saw a marriage counselor. Hillary notes that these were “painful, painful discussions.”
“Counseling was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do,” Bill said, “but it was necessary. She (Hillary) deserved it, Chelsea deserved it and I needed it.”
After the revelation of the affair, the First Family went to Martha’s Vineyard off the Massachusetts coast. By the time they returned, Hillary had decided to stay with Bill, and to be party to his impeachment defense.
Hillary remembers that aboard the helicopter when they were returning together to Washington D.C. and the turmoil of their lives, their daughter Chelsea reached out and took both of them by the hand. “When she did that,” Hillary recalls with emotion, “oh my gosh, I thought that’s just so incredible, so strong and so wise.”
The documentary will air on streaming service Hulu on Friday.