Weirdest pandemic prep panic purchases so far

I reached to the bedside, grabbed my phone, opened one eye against the glare, and went shopping.

Normally, living in Brooklyn, I pop into the market across the street from my house every other day or so. I’m always stocked with fresh veggies and non expired yogurts. I don’t know what a properly stocked pantry looks like. My mom’s cupboards were always full of pasta, olive oil, and several different kinds of balsamic vinegar—that’s it. Way to set an example for a pandemicly provisioned pantry, mom.

I had no idea what to get. I perused the Fresh Direct website.

Canned foods, I figured, and frozen veggies. That would do it. But in my hurry to get some stuff in the house, I went a little nuts. I’m sure I’m not the only one. Some of you are out there sitting on 200 rolls of toilet paper or something.

March 13, 2020

When I told my son I had stocked the pantry, he was glad. “Good thinking, Mom,” he said. “What’d you get?”

“I have no idea,” I answered in complete honesty.

We waited in two days of anticipation for the grocery delivery to arrive, so we could see what we’d be living on during our prospective, eventual quarantine.

When the bags came, big heavy ones stuffed with cans of frozen peas, beans, and yes, at least a half dozen boxes of pasta, we were surprised to find out what else I bought.

Here are the weirdest things I panic purchased in prep for coronavirus:

7 boxes of Eggo waffles

“Why did you buy 7 boxes of Eggo waffles?” My son asked, laughing at me.

“I dunno, kid,” I replied. I call him kid when he’s right that I’ve been absurd. This is not an infrequent occurrence.

15 lbs of flour

For some reason I thought it was Little House on the Prairie and I was going to need this. At the very least, if things really go south, I will perfect a pizza crust the crumb structure on a loaf of bread like nothing you’ve ever seen.

Because I also bought:

A dozen packets of yeast

So far I’ve made one pizza dough. Even though I live within delivery distance of literally 1,000 excellent pizza shops. There’s even one directly across the street.

March 13, 2020

10 lbs of sugar

No idea why I thought this was necessary. I even gave up sweets for Lent, but here we are.

17 cans of soup

Even though I don’t even like soup. I never liked soup. I should have bought masses of Chef Boyardee and left the soup on the virtual shelves. But, yeah. And it’s all some kind of noodle barley. There’s one lobster bisque.

Frozen pizzas

Despite the yeast and the flour, and it’s just taking up room in my freezer that I need for all these Eggo waffles.

3 dozen eggs

Seriously, they’re not even going to last. I’m trying to figure out how to freeze a dozen, but what with the Eggos and the frozen pizzas, freezer space is at a premium.

Several different kinds of Thai simmer saucers