Donald Trump is going to liberate North Korea

The Kosovo War was a tragic event in which ethnic Albanians in Kosovo sought to gain independence from Yugoslavia, and where an estimated 11,000 Kosovo people perished fighting for their independence.

The independence of Kosovo is still a touchy subject and is a matter of debate internationally. It’s one of the many examples of how ugly Balkanization can be, in which many different groups all living in a small space can want neighbouring countries’ blood.

But outside of all of the turmoil and tragedy that surrounded the Kosovo War, a funny little phenomenon occurred within Kosovo shortly thereafter. As a new post-war generation was being birthed, there was an influx of a new name in Kosovan boys that had never been heard before.

“Tonibler.”

If you thought think that the name has a striking resemblance to former U.K. Prime Minister Tony Blair, you’d be right. After Blair’s role in the resolution of the conflict, many newborns were given the name Toni, or Tonibler as a thank you to Blair, who many Kosovars consider instrumental to ending the conflict.

Things have definitely changed since then, but of course, there will always be groups of people who pray to their god for liberation. There will always be separatist movements, that much is a given. The degree to which those movements succeed varies greatly.

From the Catalan movement in Spain, right here in Quebec, Scotland, or the aforementioned Kosovo, people with distinct cultures tend to want to separate from governing bodies that they feel don't properly represent them.

But there is one extreme example of a people so oppressed by their own government that they don’t have access to the internet, steady supplies of food, and have absolutely no free speech.

North Korea, the communist dictatorship led by Kim Jong-Un, is one of Earth’s greatest failures. It’s an absolute travesty that in this time of satellites, speed rails and high speed internet, that any country could be so horribly treated by their own leader.

Imprisoned in a system of absolute cruelty for what has now been decades, it seemed as though there was no salvation in sight for the tiny nation on the Korean peninsula.

Until now, it seems.

What the hell is going on? For all of my lifetime, anything I could remember about North Korea involved thoughts of how the tiny nation was one of our greatest enemies. A problem without a solution, and a nuclear threat that threatened America, and thus, the world.

America then elects Donald Trump of all people. and suddenly there’s a glimpse of hope. Out of all people, Donald Trump could potentially end the Korean War. Yes, there has been a ceasefire for many decades now, but no peace treaty was ever signed. When Trump was asked about the potential to end it, he gave a staunch “We’ll see.”

But Trump seems hyper optimistic, and of course very confident, even comparing North Korea to Vietnam in their economic capability. Vietnam, a country whose economy has been flourishing under a communist government that exploits capitalism and controls the people.

At this point, I’m sure North Koreans will take anything. A communist country where everyone is decently fed just seems objectively better than starving to death and watching your family get killed in public for trying to escape. Seriously, that happens there.

It seems like a lot of progress has been made with North Korea in general. Remember the whole “rocket man” situation? Trump went so far as to Tweet insults at Un, and even signed a copy of Elton John’s Honky Chateau, the album that "Rocket Man" came out on. The gift was never given, and although tensions did seem high at the time, Trump apparently knew what he was doing.

It goes back to that old idea. Leaders who are mad with power seem to respect strong Western leaders who utilize their braun, rather than diplomatic intellectuals. The “strongman” archetype, as unpopular as it may be to some, seems to appeal to crazed leaders in a way that earns their respect.

Could you imagine if North Korea is liberated, and in 9 months we start seeing little Korean babies named “??? ???”? (romanized Donaldeu Teuleompeu, the spelling that appears on Google Translate.) I don’t even know what to do with that idea. Trump could be the President that waged war on worldwide homophobia, and liberated North Korea. Insanity.

Another little theory is that this was always in the cards for Kim Jong Un. As it’s been noted before, the supreme leader of N.K. actually adores American culture, much more than his father before him ever would.

Un also went to school in Switzerland for a number of years, and is probably much more down to Earth than many of us give him credit for. Hell, Trump himself said that Un has a tremendous sense of humour. High praise!