"They get to ask you all kinds of questions, and you try to figure out how you're gonna avoid answering them sometimes," Biden joked.
"It's time now. If you don't want to get vaccinated, you'll be put on unpaid leave," Mayor Bill de Blasio threatened.
After accidentally killing a cinematographer on the film set of "Rust" with a "prop gun," Alec Baldwin is reported to be "absolutely devastated" and "is cancelling other projects."
"And so, from funding gain-of-function research to treating these puppies with really unimaginable cruelty, I think that whole lot of them need to be cleaned out," DeSantis said.
President Joe Biden's approval rating has slid down to a new low of 43.4 percent, according to FiveThirtyEight's average of polls.
A new hashtag, #FauciLiedDogsDied, is trending on social media in the wake of revelations that Fauci is behind many cruel and unnecessary experiments on puppies.
NYC Mayor Bill de Blasio (D) wants to divorce his city from all business dealings with the Trump companies. This could wind up costing the city as much as $30M, however.
Treasury Secretary Janet Yellen said the administration has been considering "a tax on unrealized capital gains, on liquid assets held by extremely wealthy individuals, billionaires."
"I love you. I want your voice to be heard. And, I'll be honest, I go to sleep afraid that you might die each night that I hear the airplane circle and sirens blare."
The Antifa supporter and self-identified socialist was also recently fired as a contributor at the Dallas Observer for writing a fake news report.
The Facebook employee's message complaining about Breitbart included screenshots of headlines, such as "Minneapolis Mayhem: Riots in Masks," "Massive Looting, Buildings in Flames, Bonfires!" and "BLM Protesters Pummel Police Cars on 101."
"…if Governor Inslee wants to fire Eatonville School employees, he needs to do it himself ... School board directors are part of the legislative branch ... We have checks and balances for a reason."
"Your CNN town hall was watched by no one, and your approval rating is in the dumpster."
Southwood High School in Shreveport Louisiana saw 23 arrests over a mere three days due to fighting. The fights have ended now, however, since a group of students' fathers have taken to patrolling the place.
"You're a feminist," Paltrow claimed her son said.