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Heather Graham reveals how 'intimacy coordinators' get in the way while filming sex, horror scenes

"As the actor, sometimes I'm like, 'Can you just get all these people out of the room?'"

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"As the actor, sometimes I'm like, 'Can you just get all these people out of the room?'"

Heather Graham has opened up about her mixed feelings regarding Hollywood's methods for handling intimate scenes on set, namely the role of “intimacy coordinator.” The actress discussed her experiences with intimacy coordinators following the #MeToo Movement, and how they sometimes just get in her way. 

"I think the MeToo movement was amazing [and] I think there is a very good intention behind intimacy coordinators. But it is odd when you come up without having them, and suddenly there's this random person in the room just staring at you when you're, like, pretending you have sex," she told Us Weekly. "It's kind of awkward."

"I know that they have a beautiful intention, and they really want to help and protect actors," Graham added. "But as the actor, sometimes I'm like, 'Can you just get all these people out of the room?'"

The "Boogie Nights" actress criticized the model of modern intimate scene production and talked about how she believed they sometimes cross boundaries. 

"One time, I had an intimacy coordinator, and they started directing me on, like, how to have sex in a scene," Graham recalled. "They were like, 'When you do this, you can do this.' And I was like, 'You're not the director, OK? I'm not asking for notes on how to have sex in the scene.'"

"I just felt, like, 'Shut up,'" she added. "I'm like, 'You can just tell this to the director… because I don't want to have two different people directing me.' It's confusing."

Graham also recounted how she felt like she had to protect an intimacy coordinator during a disturbing horror sequence. "I just did this other horror movie, and there was this adorable intimacy coordinator. She was in her 20s, super sweet. We were doing this scary scene, and I felt like I had to take care of her," she said. "She's like, 'This is really disturbing.' And I'm like, 'I know, I'm sorry.'"

"It might be better if you're younger and don't know how to stand for yourself and speak up for yourself," the 56-year-old actress said. "At this point, I feel like I'm strong enough."

Intimacy coordinators are a fixture of many movie sets these days and are apparently supposed to make other people in the room feel comfortable. But for the veteran performer, Graham said she was confident enough to handle herself.

“I just don't want a lot of extra people in the room,” she added.
 

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