It’s Devil’s Night and God only knows what Prime Minister Justin Trudeau is planning to wear tomorrow for Halloween.
But after the shellacking he took in the international press this year after it was revealed he wore blackface on three separate occasions, we at The Post Millennial want to give our PM some suggestions so he can avoid being “more enthusiastic about costumes than is sometimes appropriate”, making Canada the laughingstock of the world again.
Here are six foolproof costume suggestions for Trudeau to don on All Hallows’ Eve.
White Michael Jackson
No one liked changing the colour of their skin more than Michael Jackson. Going as the King of Pop this Halloween, Trudeau can take a long look at the man in the mirror and not worry whether his skin is black or white for the likeness to the person he’s portraying.
Gilderoy Lockhart, the defence against the dark arts teacher from Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, is really Trudeau’s doppelganger. Both were teachers and charlatans that were way too cocksure about their own ability, ending up in train wrecks. They also both seem to have an unhealthy love for their own hair and being on the cover of magazines.
Apparently Trudeau already played the role of Captain Morgan when he allegedly took a young Faith Goldy and her fellow university students out for drinks at the Chateau Laurier several years ago. It was around the same time Trudeau swore like a drunken sailor in parliament. Since his Liberal government and Laurentian elites want to continue plundering Alberta and Saskatchewan for equalization payments it might be time for him to reprise the role.
Trudeau was so struck by the passing of Cuban dictator that he gushed about Castro on Twitter, causing the top Twitter trend worldwide to become #TrudeauEulogies, in which people mocked the PM mercilessly for his hagiography of the brutal despot his father called a friend. This would also be a good tongue-in-cheek nod to the crackpot conspiracy theorists on the internet who are convinced Castro is Trudeau’s father because they see a striking resemblance. On second thought, this costume would be a frightening disaster.
In a nod to French Canadians who abandoned him in droves during the 2019 election, Trudeau dressing up as a mime would show further pandering to Quebec, which could help him win the fickle French back. Added bonus: he doesn’t have to talk for a whole day. After such a brutal election campaign, silence is golden!
South Park‘s PC Principal would’ve been so proud of Trudeau when he told a woman to say “peoplekind” instead of the sexist word mankind. Since Trudeau likes to lecture others on their faults, with a hairtrigger for calling others racists, bigots and sexists, PC Principal would be a totally appropriate costume for our PM!
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Remind me next month