Biden’s treasury sec ate hallucinogenic mushrooms before bowing to Chinese vice premier: report

According to a new report, the treasury secretary wolfed down a bit of jian shou qing, a Chinese mushroom known for causing psychedelic effects. This allegedly took place shortly after her arrival to Beijing.

“You thought you were walking straight but you just fell sideways,” one gourmand said to the Xinhua state news agency in a report about the magic mushroom’s effects.

Dr. Peter Mortimer, a professor at Kunming Institute of Botany, told CNN that he knows “a friend who mistakenly ate them and hallucinated for three days.”

This news came to light after it was revealed that Yellen bowed to a Chinese vice premier, with critics saying the move displayed weakness on behalf of the United States.

“Never, ever, ever - An American official does not bow,” former George W. Bush White House senior staffer Bradley Blakeman commented in reaction to Yellen’s conduct at the time. “It looks like she’s been summoned to the principal’s office, and that’s exactly the optics the Chinese love.”

Yellen consumed the magic mushrooms prior to her controversial bow, according to the report.

The Yi Zuo Yi Wang restaurant, which translates to “In and Out” in English, reportedly spoke out about Yellen eating the psychedelic food item, saying that her visit to the establishment proved to create an “extremely magical day.”

This alleged trip by Yellen comes about a week after the US Secret Service claimed it will most likely not be able to track down who might have recently brought cocaine into the White House, a claim many Americans question given that the building is known for having 24/7 surveillance throughout its grounds.