Wild boar steals laptop from nudist, hilarity ensues

A German nudist learned this lesson the hard way when a wild boar ran up and stole a bag from him containing the laptop in question, according to the Guardian.

The man was caught not only flat-footed but completely bare naked as the boar and two piglets ran off headed for the bush. The grown boar was dragging the yellow bag in its mouth, probably thinking the bag was full of food, an altogether reasonable assumption, given how popular picnics are in this particular park.

The man took off in hot pursuit of the boar, despite being shoeless and naked as the day he was born, armed with nothing but a stick. Unfortunately, his name is not available at this time, so we will call him Our Hero.

This story has a perfectly happy ending. Our Hero closed in on the thieving swine who had encountered an obstacle in its way. He managed to scare the boar by hitting the ground with the stick, causing it to drop the ill-gotten goods in panic.

Neither Our Hero nor the boar were hurt by the incident. The laptop was recovered in good condition.

Adele Landauer, a personal coach present at the scene, was able to get off a quick couple of photographs, which she later showed to an out of breath but very content Our Hero. He laughed a hero’s laugh and gave her permission to use the pictures.

“He gave it his all”, Adele was heard to say in praise and admiration of Our Hero.

Minor incidents involving the criminal elements of wild animal populations are increasingly common in Teufelssee, but they generally affect humans much less than other humans in the Berlin area. A Berlin official stated: ““We urge people not to panic in such a case... We have so far had no injuries – the animals are quite used to humans.”

Nude sunbathing is perfectly legal in the Teufelssee. The boar remains at large.