“Lately, however, she has been asking really pointed questions about what I believe, and I’m not quite sure how to answer them.”
In a piece published on Slate, advice writer Jamilah Lemieux responded to the mother’s submission which described her growing concerns over her child’s enthusiastic embrace of religious teachings. The mother explained that she chose the school for its educational appeal, noting that it has “small classes, caring teachers, diverse, and heavily into kindness.”
“Think major Pope Francis vibes,” she explained. The mother added that private Catholic school could be more beneficial to her child than the public school system because she struggles with anxiety and needs a lot of individual attention.
“We knew that religious teaching would be part of her school, and we were okay with that,” the mother wrote, noting that her family is open to learning about various religious traditions. However, she admitted to underestimating her daughter’s excitement towards religion.
“The stories they are learning and how they are taught are very appealing to a young child, and I know that, even when she gets older, my daughter might just be someone who is attracted to religion and spirituality in a way that I never was,” she stated.
“I also get that the ‘we are made of stardust’ is not exactly warmest and fuzziest thought,” the mother continued. “Lately, however, she has been asking really pointed questions about what I believe, and I’m not quite sure how to answer them.”
The mother cited examples including her daughter asking pointed questions about faith, such as whether her mother believed in Jesus or the story of Adam and Eve. The mother tried deflecting by asking what her daughter believed, but the child persisted by saying, “I want to know what you believe.”
"The short answer is no, I don’t believe in those things. But any version of my not believing makes her upset, and pointing out other faith traditions basically gets her to say, ‘Yeah, those are interesting, but Jesus is real,’” The mother continued.
While the mother had no issue fabricating a belief in Santa Claus for her daughter’s sake, she said, “Somehow the religion piece feels different.”
“If I’m honest or even ambiguous, she gets very concerned. She worries about the people she loves dying, and it’s hard for me to think of a way to answer that won’t make that worse. Is there a script? I’m lost,” she concluded.
Lemieux responded by pointing out that the daughter is “receiving incredibly mixed messages” between the words of the school and her mother. “You must understand her confusion, and why she may be worried about you,” Lemieux advised.
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