Hasbro goes woke with new “Ms. Monopoly” board game that pays women more than men

Monopoly, the infamous family board game that has ruined friendships for over 80 years, has decided to take a heavy dose of the “woke” pill.

Hasbro is debuting a special edition of Monopoly which “celebrates women’s empowerment” by giving female players more money. A new mascot will debut alongside the boardgame, both being aptly named “Ms. Monopoly.”

Each turn, women will collect 240 dollars when passing “GO,” while male players will be stuck collecting 200 dollars. By doing so, Hasbro has created the very first game with an actual gender pay gap, all in the name of—you guessed it—equality!

“It’s a fun new take on the game that creates a world where women have an advantage often enjoyed by men,” said Hasbro in a statement. “But don’t worry, if men play their cards right, they can make more money too.”

Monopoly was invented to demonstrate the dangers of capitalism, as the game becomes progressively easier for those who get ahead, and gets much harder for those who fall behind. By purchasing land and increasing rent on poor players, Monopoly was a game that took the Mark Twain quote “‘Buy land—they aren’t making it anymore,” and cranked it up to 11.

So for Monopoly to attempt to make major capital on the female-empowerment wave, would probably make the game’s inventor, Elizabeth Magie, an outspoken socialist, turn in her grave twofold.

By going woke, Monopoly leaves many wondering exactly what the purpose is here. The company has already made some unorthodox choices in Special Editions. Monopoly: Socialism, for example, was an ironic money grab for the company which barely functioned as a game, and Monopoly For Millennials was essentially the board game manifestation of Ben Shapiro telling you to work harder.

By paying female players more, though, Monopoly actually highlights some inconvenient truths for those who preach the wage gap as gospel.

Studies have shown that women in their 20s earn more than men of the same age. Not just that, but women are also more likely than their male counterparts to be accepted into post-secondary education.

So perhaps the game’s $240 for women rule isn’t so much a handout as it is an honest indicator of the different fields in which men are falling behind.

If that’s the case, Hasbro should consider implementing more real-life statistics into the game. Perhaps male players could have a 1070 percent higher chance of ending up in prison. Better yet, male players should also have a higher chance of dying while playing, considering that 94 percent of workplace fatalities are male.

Where will Hasbro go next? Well, we’re sure they’ll figure something out, considering they’re about to get hit with a monsoon of angry reviews from players claiming Monopoly enforces the gender binary. But to be fair, we’ve seen other companies look worse.