Parents use doll to train daughters to use preferred pronouns

"My 6 year olds were complaining that using they/them pronouns is too hard (even the one who's nonbinary). Enter Kai, my nonbinary doll."

Christina Buttons Nashville TN

Parents are flocking to Facebook support groups for "transgender" children, where they can announce their child’s new transgender identities, ask questions, and share anecdotes about their lives. A lesbian woman and her partner, who identifies as a transgender man, has made several posts to one such Facebook group about her biracial twin daughters, one of whom claims to identify as "non-binary."

In her most recent post to the group, the mom shares a photo of a biracial "non-binary" doll with a bag of M&M’s next to it, with a caption that describes how she is using it to train her 6-year-old twins to use gender neutral "they/them" pronouns, even though the child who she says is non-binary doesn’t want to. The candy is used as positive reinforcement for referring to the doll using they/them pronouns.

"My 6 year olds were complaining that using they/them pronouns is too hard (even the one who's nonbinary)," reads the mom’s Facebook post. "Enter Kai, my nonbinary doll. I set Kai on the dining room table. Every time they use Kai's pronouns correctly, they get an M&M."

The mother acknowledges that her parenting style is unconventional, "Is it the best parenting? Probably not," but believes the benefit to her children learning about using gender neutral pronouns is worth it.

The mother added a comment on the post saying that she wants her daughters to "get all the practice they can," as they have plans to meet a "non-binary celebrity" at a convention in a few weeks.

Commenters from the post seem to be in favor of her parenting methods. "Love it!" said one, adding "you truly cracked the code!" Another writes "I love this idea."

One commenter suggests that the mother instruct her daughters to "have them imagine the individual with a constant mouse buddy in their pocket." She says this can help "little minds (like mine!) to connect the proper language pathways without tripping up and feeling embarrassed."

Another commenter says they might adopt the mother’s doll technique for her own children: "I might try this. My 4 and 5 year old struggle with it for my 12 year old enby." The mother responds to the commenter with her approval, "I highly recommend it. Kai has been introduced to other dolls, invited to parties, and complimented many times over, all correctly."

Children are often radicalized into gender ideology on social media sites such as TikTok, and suddenly "come out" as trans to their parents and insist on being addressed by a new name and pronouns. In this case, the daughter was likely introduced to gender ideology by the parents, one of whom identifies as transgender. Instead of letting her daughter use the pronouns she wants, she enforces a regime of gender neutral "they/them" pronouns to accompany her fashionable "nonbinary" identity.  

This radical reconceptualization of what it means to be a man, woman, boy, or girl, does not come without equally radical and harmful consequences. The harm results from the fact that the completely natural and common tendency of some individuals of each sex to exhibit gender nonconforming personalities and behavior is now being incorrectly interpreted as being transgender—a psychological condition that requires treatment.


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