Trans-identified woman feels cast out of LGBT community after birthing son

"Every time I walk into a room, I feel alone…because a lot of trans men don’t want to be open about their queerness."


Trans-identified woman Ja’Mel Ware, who identifies as male, has said Ware have been discriminated against and feel isolated from the LGBTQI+ community after becoming pregnant and giving birth to a child. Ware, 33, from Atlanta, gave birth to a son in May 2022, with her partner Alphonso Mills, who is a male who identifies as two-spirit using she/him/he/her pronouns.

The couple named their child "Sea Cannon" and documented the pregnancy and birth on Instagram and in a Youtube documentary titled "I’m A Pregnant Man In An Anti-LGBTQ+ State." But now Ware has come out and criticized the LGBTQI+ community, specifically gay men, for making her feel "alone."

Ware recently participated in a workshop organized by non-profit website The 19th, in collaboration with the Human Rights Campaign, the LGBT lobby group behind the Corporate Equality Index (CEI). Ware spoke with seven other black trans-identified females, saying she feels unsure of her place in the community stating, “Where do I fit in?”

At the trans workshop, Ware said “I’ve been struggling over this past year and a half, almost two years now. It’s like, where do I fit in?” Ware also spoke about how difficult it has been for to feel safe in LGBTQI+ spaces, especially around gay men and has struggled to find acceptance in the LGBT community, saying “I also have a child that I carried. … Every time I walk into a room, I feel alone…because a lot of trans men don’t want to be open about their queerness.”

The eight transgender men participating in the workshop singled out gay men as being the most problematic members of the LGBTQI+ community for them, claiming that gay men often don’t accept trans men, with one of the workshops participants claiming they are seen as “too masculine to be queer.”

In a 2022 documentary with the AJ+ Youtube channel, which has 1.3 million subscribers, Ware revealed that the transition from female to male-presenting was at the age of 22. Ware struggled to come to terms with Ware's identity during the pregnancy process. “It was very emotional, it was very physically challenging…even the process of getting pregnant was uncomfortable, having to ovulate and menstruate. That brought a lot of dysphoria to me.”

In the 13-minute video, Ware also spoke of the difficulty of being accepted by the LGBT community that claims to pride itself on inclusivity and diversity, saying, “Pregnant women are celebrated. Trans people are not. And to be a pregnant trans man just made me feel vulnerable in the world.”

According to Ware’s website, where Ware describes herself as an actor, entrepreneur, and public speaker, Ware was given an award for advocacy work within the transgender community in 2021 at the Atlanta Men’s Engagement Network. Over the years, Ware has documented the journey as a trans man on Instagram, including numerous posts discussing Ware's pregnancy journey as a "man."

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